Riding in the Car with Eric

There are days I feel like I am CONSTANTLY in the car!  I really wish I had a driver that could drive me places or could take my kids to and from their activities without me.  I literally think I am away from home more than I am home for the first half of the week.  Now, some of you may say, well cut it back.  That's easy to say, and believe me there are days I am ready to call it quits on everything, yet I do like that Eric has a Tumbling class and Pre-K.  I like that Alex has Art and Lego Robotics.  It's all the other stuff...grocery shopping, doctor's visits, and other miscellaneous errands!  The perfect example is yesterday.  I had my two youngest asleep for naps (BLISS) and then the time came for us to leave for art class!  Isn't there a saying to let sleeping dogs lie!?!  It must apply to kids too!  Eric doesn't wake up from naps well at all!  He screams and carries on and literally shakes and can't get himself together for a good ten minutes, and then Josephine was sleeping so good, and then to wake her up is like a long term sentence of crying and crankiness until bed time!  OYE!  Well, I did it and we made it to art on time...I guess that was the whole point.  Well, there is one car trip each week that I look forward to, and that's when Eric drives.

Now, before you go and call CPS let me explain.  At the children's museum They have the front half of a truck that the kids can climb in.  Most of the buttons have been removed, but the steering wheel, gear shift, air  conditioning/heater dials, turn signal, and pedals are still there.  One side has a door that can't open, but the window is missing and the other side has no door.  Eric LOVES this part of the museum the most.  The first thing he tells me when we walk in is that he wants to drive me around town.  We climb in (Josephine usually on my lap) and Eric drives me around.  We always stop at McDonalds or Chick Fil-A.  There he "rolls down" his window and orders 2 chicken nugget kids meals with waters (cause that's what Mommy drinks) and if we have been good we get a milkshake too.  It always costs $2.00 and it is on sale!  We then drive to the zoo to see pink elephants and big alligators.  We drive to the mall and go to the Lego store and stop at the chocolate store for Mommy.  We went to the drive-in this week and we watched a movie about knights, ninjas, and princesses.  We stopped at Wal-Mart for Mommy's medicine and then we drove around looking at Halloween decorations.  Nobody could possibly know how much I LOVE this time with Eric.  He is such a sweet boy with the biggest heart.  He wants to be his best and he wants to love everyone.  He is so attentive to the details of our trips.  Even down to making sure the toy we got from McDonald's is a girl toy for me.  I know how much he watches me and I can tell that he sees everything.  He even plugs his "phone" into the "charger" as soon as we get in the car.  I know there will come a day when he will drive away without me, but right now, I am trying to soak in these "trips" he takes with me in the passenger seat.  He is growing up so quickly, yet he is still my baby boy through and through.  I love my little Toodles and I hope he will look back at these times, and have some really sweet memories too.

BUSY

There is no other words to describe our lives right now other than BUSY!  We have been going nonstop lately!  Our schedule is crammed and on top of that we decided to put our house on the market!  What were we thinking!?!  We moved on a prompting from the Lord and we aren't looking back.  Our prayers are ongoing that the right person will be led to our house that we have called home for the last six years.  We love our little home, but that is just what it is...little.  We are crowded beyond belief and I am hoping with a bigger home maybe a little bit of my stress and anxiety will fade away.  I don't know how they did it in the old days in a tiny house with lots of kids, but apparently I am not cut out for it...well, no, I guess that's not true.  If I needed to stay where I am, I could, but I think more space would definitely be nice.  We have found a home nearby that we love, but we are waiting to see if we get any nibbles on our home before plunging in too deep.  We pray that Heavenly Father will provide for us a means to have that home, or the one He would have us live in.  It is really hard sometimes to hand everything over to Him, but I just keep telling myself it is what we need to do.

Well, home school life is still a bit of a task.  I actually find myself murmuring a bit that if both my boys were in school I could get a lot more done, but I know that the right place for Alex is at home right now.  There have been many moments recently where that has been made very clear to me.  I am trying to keep him as social as I can, but it is hard to do when I see how much he struggles with it and with his self esteem.  There was an instance this week in his Lego Robotics class that still has me a bit torn up inside.  Maybe one of my readers can give me some insight or just some kind words for this Mommy's broken heart.  While Alex was in class on Tuesday, Eric and I were playing in the museum.  I glanced through the window (they can't see me, but I can see them) and Alex was bawling his eyes out and obviously very upset.  I resisted all urge to step in and find out what was going on, but instead I just watched.  I walked away for a few minutes, and then came back to see him still recovering from crying (little hiccups and heaves).  Okay, apparently it didn't last too long, but I still couldn't figure out what the problem was.  Anyway, fast forward to an hour later in the car on the way home.  I asked Alex how class was and he told me it was good and that he made a car with his classmates.  I asked him if he had any problems and he said a little one.  He then related to me this..."We were all building parts of the car and then someone took the pieces I built out of my hand.  I got mad and told the teacher.  She then asked me if I knew how to share.  I said yes and then she said well, don't you know how to make friends?  I then started crying and told her no, I don't know how to make friends."  I then asked Alex what she said to that and he said that she ignored him.  This whole thing bugs me!  One, I can't figure out what more I can do to help Alex get to know people.  We role play, we play at the park, play dates  art class, Lego class, piano lessons, church...what else can I do?  Also, it really really really bothers me how the teacher reacted to him.  Even if this isn't exactly how it happened, Alex perceived it this way and I don't like it!  I pay for these classes and they are in a learning environment that is supposed to nurture children's curiosity and learning, yet I feel as if she isn't treating my son as a student and rather an annoyance.  The class has a whopping 5 kids in it!  I am frustrated beyond belief and this is a total Mommy Bear thing protecting my babies!

On another note, Alex absolutely LOVES piano and art class.  He gets so excited for Wednesdays.  He has been doing very well with practicing the piano.  Alex has also been better at letting his (for lack of a better term) creative juices to flow.  It is hard when you want things to be perfect all of the time, and he has a new art teacher that is definitely a bit unique herself and Alex adores her.  I am very tempted to enroll him in the second session of art, but at the same time I feel that it would be much easier on me if we took a break after this class ends so that maybe we can get this whole real estate stuff under control and not be quite so overwhelmed.

Oh, and I got a new calling that I am excited for, but nervous for at the same time.  I am grateful to still be in Primary.  I mean let's face it, I seriously lack the attention span for Relief Society and I never did fit in when I was in Young Women, so why would now be any different.  So, right now I am still working as the Primary chorister until after the Primary Program in a few weeks.  I am also still called to the Relief Society Activities Committee and now I am Primary first counselor   Sometimes I wish the Lord didn't trust me so much!  Even though I am totally stressed, losing my hair and my mind, and absolutely exhausted, I feel so overwhelmingly blessed.  I know the Lord's hand is in my day-to-day because if it wasn't I would have probably exploded all over the place by now.  Life is calling, and I must go.  Hopefully I will have a few minutes this weekend to write again and let you know how the house stuff went.  Please keep our home situation in your prayers, and maybe my sanity too.

FRIDAY!

Yeah, yeah I know, I said I was going to do better and didn't.  Well I have to admit that I am really starting to feel Fridays.  Before I would just feel like it was just another day, but now Friday means I sleep a little later, just a few school things to do, and the weekend is upon us.  Today we had a spelling test and Alex got them all right!  Even the bonus words!  We had a phonics test that was supposed to be yesterday, but it didn't happen.  He got 100% on that too!  No backwards letters or anything!  One was backwards, but he caught it before he turned it in.  We labeled the parts of the eye (what you see when you look at someone) and he wrote in his journal.  Later we went to the grocery store and practiced reading (labels), addition (prices for two items), and counting (produce).  We also discussed meal planning (I think that counts as nutrition) and also money management (no, ice cream sandwiches aren't in the budget this week).  I think it was a pretty good day.  I also got caught up on some of the housework too.  Well, the thorough vacuuming got done and stuff like that.

This week we had a lot of fun but it was BUSY!  Alex started his Lego Robotics class and Art Class.  He really enjoyed the Lego class and he built a remote control dune buggy.  He felt very accomplished and his teacher was impressed with his ability.  Alex really liked that he got to build it on his own.  I really hope they do some group projects, Alex really needs the interaction with kids his own age.  The art class went well too but Alex really has a hard time with be a perfectionist and being obsessed with something.  He was completely distraught at the end of class because his projects didn't look like he wanted them too.  The teacher was so understanding and wonderful.  She let us go back into the class and we looked at them and discussed what he liked and didn't like about them.  We also talked about how he will be painting them next week.  When we left he felt a little better.  The teacher said that this isn't uncommon for children, especially those who have obsessive personalities   She really is a wonderful lady and I am so glad she is Alex's art teacher.  We also went to a play date this week.  We went to our friend's farm and saw cows, a donkey, pigs, and goats.  The boys had a blast and I am completely bummed that I forgot my camera and left my phone in the house when we went out.  The boys really enjoyed being outside, playing with friends, and feeding some of the animals 

Next week Alex will start piano lessons and we are both excited.  I know he will enjoy it and i really think he will do well with it.  Also, we have started discussing looking for a bigger home (1100 square feet is a little tight for us now).  Alex has shown some apprehension regarding moving, but we are working on trying to keep his mind at ease, and keeping him as involved as we can without too much detail.  We are praying and hoping that things will go forward smoothly and that we can find a home we will all love.  We are very blessed and I know that as long as we have faith and do what is right, the Lord will provide for us when the time is right.  Well, I am off to enjoy the rest of my Friday.

Oh, I almost forgot.  I have noticed that Alex is very sweet and tender towards his baby sister.  This is a huge deal to me as he is usually one who couldn't care less about how others are feeling, not that he doesn't care about people, just that he usually lacks empathy towards others.  Lately he has stepped in to help out with Josephine without being asked and he tended to her in the waiting room while I was a the doctor on Thursday.  I think homeschooling him was the right choice and his helping him develop more emotionally.

Running behind...what else is new, right...

Well, it has been a week and a half since i posted.  Yes, we are all still alive and we are still learning and growing and doing our thing.  Some of the highlights of our days since I last posted...

*Homeschool Co-op was a blast!  We went to our friend's house and learned about surface tension, made bubble solution and giant bubble wands.  We made HUMONGOUS bubbles!  We had a great time.  Even Eric enjoyed himself.  Then we shared a yummy picnic lunch.  I hope more friends join in with us, but if not, that's okay too.  I am really nervous about when it will be my turn to lead the group, but I am thankful for Pinterest and lots of fun ideas.

*We didn't start our extra classes at the Children's Museum because their renovations took longer than expected.  We start this week for sure.  We have evening classes because the morning ones didn't have enough people signed up, but oh well.  We are really excited!

*We went to a new restaurant in The Woodlands called Zunum.  It was a lot of fun.  The food is moderately priced and the kids LOVED the supervised play area.  It was nice and we will do it again sometime.

*We held our Fisher-Price playdate and it was a blast, and I feel it was a huge success too.  We had a lot of fun and so did our guests.  I am very grateful that House Party and Fisher-Price gave us the opportunity to host such a fun play date.  I will be uploading pictures and filling out surveys in a little bit. I think I will write to Fisher-Price too.

*I attended Time Out for Women and really enjoyed it.  I feel uplifted and encouraged.  I can do this and enjoy the ride too.

*Eric's little friend from school was diagnosed with leukemia.  Him and his family have been on our minds and in our prayers.  We know that he is in the Lord's hands and being held tightly.

That's all I can remember right now.  If I am feeling really ambitious later I will update about our day, but don't hold your breath, we have tumbling this evening and this get a little hairy around here in the evenings.  I will always say I will try and be better, and I do try, but sometimes I just can't get it together.  Well, here is to another week of trying to get it right.

A Good Day

Today was a good day (I can say now that it is over).  We took Eric to school, went groery shopping, Cleaned up a bit, did schoolwork, visited with my visiting teachers, got some good rain (and thnunder too), had breakfast for dinner and Daddy will be home soon.

Grocery shopping was interesting.  Alex wasn't thrilled about not going to the Kroger with the play area, but it really saved on time and gas to go to the one near Eric' school.  While we shopped I had Alex count produce, read labels, add prices, push the basket, help me decide ship flavors, and assorted other things that he really enjoyed and I know were great learning experiences.  I like being able to use the real world as my text book.  We did some book work today too, and really there are days I feel like he is above what is in his text books, but I think it is a great review and helps boost his confidence in his skills.  I am looking forward to his classes at the Children's Museum next week.  I know he will LOVE them!

My Blog, So My Rant

Okay, so here is your warning label on this post.  I will be posting MY thoughts!  These are mine and nobody else's.  I am not censoring them and I am not worried about hurting feelings.  If you are quick to anger or quick to find offense, don't read this (even though I post this I know people will still read it).  I have had a lot on my mind and a lot on my plate lately and I need to put it somewhere, so here it goes.  These thoughts will probably lead to nowhere important and will probably have no sense of direction, but that's the way my mind has been working, so here it goes.  Oh, and even one comment, email, or anything of the sort that condemns one things I say or think, I will strongly consider our friendship.  I try to not judge people on their personal views and thoughts and I am quick to defend those who have the bravery to say it how it is, even if I don't agree.  So don't judge me because I think differently from you.

1.  Holy crap yesterday was a rough one.  I am not sure why everything hit me all at once, but it did (you can ask my GiGi, I cried in her ear for over half an hour)

2.  Sometimes I just don't wanna!  I don't want ot be the better person, I don't want to serve those that hurt me, I don't want to homeschool, I don't want to be a friend, I don't want to watch what I eat, I don't want to exercise!

3.  Even though I don't wanna, I usually do it anyway.

4.  I have had some serious mommy guilt lately, and it really came to a head yesterday as i was driving to somewhere I didn't want to go and my son was doing reading work in the backseat, my baby girl was screaming, and my gas tank was emptying.  The guilt that I wanted to homeschool my child, yet I can't even sit at home and teach him and guide him through learning in a natural and loving environment, instead he is in the back of our van, doing book work while his mother murmurs about how unfair life is.  My baby (who I BEGGED the Lord for) was wailing because she just wanted to be held and had been in the car seat much too long.  I wailed along with her and hated myself for every moment.  I sat and thought about how disappointed my Heavenly Father must be with me, I mean, I asked for her, and then I don't even have a spare moment to just sit and hold her today!  GEEZ!  Then the gas gauge goes down as gas prices go up.  Money is tight and the bills continue to come in!  Like I really needed to drive an additional 65 miles today than what had already been driven because I needed to go to the doctor today, and of course the doctor I need to see is WAY across town, and I can't find another one because there isn't another doctor in his field of work in the ENTIRE area!  I did get to Eric's school sooner than I thought, so I took Josephine out and held her, and kissed her and nursed her.  Alex sat in the front seat and we reviewed his reading assignment together.  I went and picked up Eric on time and he was happy and smiling.  I think Josephine forgave me as she snuggled in close to me whenever someone came near and she even gave me a big smile when I had to put her back in the car seat.

4. I seriously can't wait until my sweetheart comes home today.  I miss him like crazy!  I need him and I depend on him.  My mom once told me to never be so dependent on another person that you can't live happily on your own.  Well, I proved these last few days I can live on my own, but it isn't near as easy or as enjoyable without him.  I need him!

5.  I am SO TIRED of political talk!  GAH!

6.  Obama and Leader of Israel Dude issue!  GEEZ!  I am sick of it.  If I can make time for things that are important in my life, than so can you.  Obviously relations with each other are not too important if neither of you can get your schedules to agree for the last three years!  The liberals blame Israel, the conservatives blame Obama!  FIGURE IT OUT and quit it!  My stance is, you NEVER want to be an enemy of Israel, you always want to be a defender because if not you are in BIG trouble, just go read your scriptures and you will find out what happens!

7.  I feel like Romney is the lesser of two evils and even though I am a Mormon doesn't mean I agree with him on everything.  That is an internal struggle that I will have to deal with sooner or later.

8.  I really hope it doesn't rain on Saturday, but I know it will so I need to remember to bring my umbrella.

9.  I can't remember who, but I heard someone say that they "think its funny when people who have homeschooled put their kids back in to public school".  Well, this struck me a couple of ways.  One way is that did this person mean "ha ha funny" or "odd-funny"  Well, I don't think it is either one!  Homeschooling is HARD and there are days it really just SUCKS!  I am only in my third week and I already think it is no fun for me a lot of the time (good thing Alex enjoys it).  Sometimes circumstances in our control or beyond our control make our "plan" change, hence why I am done having a plan.  I may not homeschool forever, any maybe I will, but either way I will make the decision with my husband and we will choose what is right for our child and for our family's circumstances.  There is no answer key to raising your children, but there are guides and help desk along the way.  It is a personal decision and I think people need to STAY OUT OF EACH OTHER'S BUSINESS!!!!!  If you think you can do it better, then go at it!  Take my kids and make them into perfect functioning adults (oh wait, that doesn't exist).  We all make mistakes and we all make choices that mothers may not agree with, but guess what, we don't have to agree to be friends or to coexist.  We just have to love each other and not kill each other. (I will probably vent on this again sometime soon, as it really irks me).

10.  Itruly do not believe that most human beings do things to intentionally hurt another person.  That person who commented on your status, or gave you a funny look, or even said something to you that you didn't like, I seriously doubt that they did it to hurt your feelings or to rub you the wrong way.  I can't even imagine my friends sitting at their computers coming up with ways to make me cry or hurt me.  Maybe I am wrong, but I think that we all get in funks.  We all say or do things that we don't mean to.  Guess what, people don't know they have hurt you unless you let them know (usually) so when you look at that person who hurt your feelings and you are seething because they just don't seem repentant, well, they probably aren't because they don't even know they did something wrong!  TELL THEM!  BE HONEST!  Let them know in a kind way that they hurt you, and a true friend will apologize and try to make it better.  If they don't, then maybe they aren't a true friend.  Even if they think you over reacted, they should still be sympathetic to your feelings.  You have a right to your feelings.  Please also remember that tone cannot be written.  When you read that text message/FB post/email you read it in the tone you feel.  Maybe they meant it that way. maybe they were kidding, so either give the person the benefit of the doubt and be careful what you write as well.  And if you think that I sit and think of ways to hurt you or pull you down, then you don't know me well and maybe we shouldn't be friends if you can't remember that I am human and I have bad days too.

And I think my last beef for the day is that just because I am a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean I have nothing to do.  And since I am trying to teach my six year old and raise a 4 year old and baby, I have a whole bunch on my plate and when I tell you I can't do something or I am too busy, please don't roll your eyes at me or insist that I need a break.  I know I need a break.  I have NO time without my children, and even though I love them dearly, they drive me up the wall most days.  I wouldn't trade my life for anything, but I can still be frustrated by it daily.  Life is not ideal!

I love all of my friends and family and I value each one of you.  Please remember to share hugs and not judgments, you never know when you will be walking in there shoes or crossing paths


Oh, and I bought a TON of chocolate yesterday!

Monday Again!

Well, as you can tell I didn't write on Friday.  Friday Alex had three tests!  He had his first math test and his first phonics test!  He did great on both and only missed two on his math test due to numbers being backwards!  Some days are definitely better than others with this dyslexia thing.  Then he had a spelling test that he BOMBED!  I had no idea he would do so poorly on it!  I used it to my advantage and we worked on the words.  I did retest him on Saturday (we used the white board instead of sitting with paper and pencil).  He missed one, but I tacked it on to the end and he got it right!  WooHoo!  So, because he got it the next time around we decided to move forward this week with list #3.  I am hoping that the spelling test was a problem because he was just overwhelmed and having a hard time focusing.  The whole day had been a bit of a job to get him to stay focused and on task.  Alex said he likes tests on Fridays, but I am going to mix it up a bit next week and just do testing as it comes up, and not wait until Friday and see how we do.  I also found a fun Spelling Words game on Pinterest that I want to try this week.  Maybe it will help a bit.

Anyway, today is Monday.  I am already insanely tired and it isnt even 2:00!  I was up very early with baby girl and then had to get back up before my body wanted to so I could drop the kids off at a firend's house and I could go to the doctor.  I REALLY didn't want to drag three kids to my anual well-woman exam if you can understand.  My wonderful friend welcomed my children into her home and they had a blast.  They got to experience chickens!  They even collected some eggs, and for their hard work, she sent us home with a dozen fresh eggs!  Yay for scrambled eggs with flavor.  Anyway, as soon as we got home we did some math and language.  Then break for lunch.  Then we finished up.  I did teach Alex some more about place value today.  I think he is catching on (well, at least I hope).  I had to laugh at myself yesterday.  I was sitting and looking over our math assignments for the week and I came to a question that the wording totally tripped me up.  Now, you must understand that I am "one of those people" who doesn't comprehend math well.  I mean, math makes me sweat!  So when I came to this issue I started to panic (no joke) and all I could think was that I was going to have to hire a tutor and I can't even do first grade math!  Well, my husband stepped in and reassured me that I could handle this and that he too thought it was worded funny, but this is what he thought it meant.  I agreed to his deductive reasoning, but still wanted some reassurance.  Thank goodness for good friends and Facebook!  I hopped on Facebook and sent a message to one of my friends that lives near my grandma who is a first grade teacher and specializes in math!  Yay for the Facebook friend lifeline!  Shee also thought it was worded weird and confirmed that my husband's idea was correct!  WHEW!  Why didn't they just word it like normal human beings in the first place!  I am only 26!  I don't need a heart attack already!

So, past the math drama things are going great.  I have decided to order and additional phonics test booklet and an additional math test booklet so that I can make keys for my records and I don't have to keep using all of my ink to make copies.  Oh, and Alex caught the giggles during his reading work today.  The story was titled "Bob".  Every time he came to the word Bob he would yell BOB!  Then we came to the word "but" and of course, being a boy, this is hilarious, even after I tried to explain that this was NOT that kind of but!  Anyway, at least I know he is well adjusted and still a typical six year old who thinks butts and farts are funny, heck what can I say, they are!  Anyway, this looks to be a busy week, but I am confident that we will get it done and make it out alive!