Well, it is the morning after...in a lot of ways I am without words, but in other ways I have a lot of words. I try to be optimistic, but ti is hard. For the first time ever my husband rolled over in bed, looked me in the eyes and asked me, "What's the point?" That is a hard thing for me to swallow. I know what we need to do and what the point is, but I also know the feeling and the sense of hopelessness. I was optimistic for a few minutes this morning as I was reading that the popular vote was for Romney. I had hope that at least 50% of our nation was awake and aware and wanted more for our children...but then that happy bubble was popped. We must move forward, if we stand still we are only moving backwards. We have to fight for what is right, even if we stand alone. I will continue to arm my children and clothe them in the armor of God so that they can stand in these days and have the tools and knowledge to know that ONE MAN cannot destroy our family or our country...I won't let him.
Last night I spent a good chunk of time on the phone with my grandma. It was a hard conversation, very stressful. I wanted to give her all the hope in the world that things would change and the results would favor Mr. Romney. She was literally having palpitations and I can only imagine what she is seeing. She is seeing a country that has become something that is totally different than what she was raised in. She never once feared and always knew her country had her best interests and protection in mind, yet now she feels that is not how it is. She looks back and fears for what we are now. I look forward while snuggling my three children and fear for what is ahead. I know I should not fear, but I do.
After I got off the phone the boys were a bit perturbed because I had been on the phone and not as prompt with their dinner as they are accustomed to. I explained to them that I needed to talk to GiGi because she is worried about the election. Alex then asked about why she was worried. Then, I had to have a talk with my children that I had really hoped would wait until they were older. I tried to keep it simple and as non-biased as possible. Then I remembered that these are my children, MINE. I can teach them the way I see fit. Others don't have to agree with my politics, but guess what, I don't have to agree with theirs either. We must just tolerate each other and live in some accordance of harmony. I explained President Obama and Mitt Romney this way:
"The president has the belief that we should "spread the wealth". This means that everyone has all the same stuff. Everyone has the same amount of money, benefits, home, food...everything. Yet, not everyone has to work hard to get it. Only the people who desire to make something of themselves have to work. That means that when Daddy works extra hours at work that instead of us getting to have that money, some other family whose Daddy doesn't work gets to have it. The end result may be that everyone has no money because people will decide that it is not worth it to work hard if you don't get the return on your investment. Mitt Romney has a different idea. He wants there to be enough jobs for everyone. He wants everyone to work so that we can work together and help those that can't work or help themselves. He wants everyone to have success and to work towards that success for our entire country. He wants us to be free to make our own decisions rather than the government telling us what to do."
Alex, my very smart and profound little boy looked me straight in the eye and said, "That sounds like the war in heaven and Satan's plan and Jesus plan". After a moment of shock that he made that connection on his own, I asked him to explain that to me. He said, "Satan's plan was to make it so we could all get to heaven, but we wouldn't learn or grow because he would make all the choices for us. Jesus' plan was to let us make choices, even if it means that we don't all make it to heaven and that we have knowledge." I nodded and said that was an interesting connection he made. He then looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "I change my vote."
This morning Eric was the first one up (no surprise) and he asked who won the election. I told him that President Obama would continue to be our president. The sweet boy hung his head and pushed out his lower lip. Daddy then proceeded to scoop him up, squeeze him and tell him that everything will be okay. A while later Alex got up and I told him that President Obama was to continue being the president. He asked why. My answer was simply that whenever everyone voted, more people liked him. He then asked me, "Now, what's going to happen?" My answer was simply that I don't know, but I know we will keep living the way we live and doing our best to be good citizens and Christians. To which he snuggled in close to me and patted my arm.
All in all, I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I know that I am nervous and leaning on the Lord and his priesthood. I know that I will continue to love and teach my children. I know who I am and I know what I stand for. I know I can do hard things and that life is a hard thing, and as I told my sweet husband this morning, "We got this."
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