Tuesday, January 29, 2013

This is ME Monday (ummm...Tuesday)-Week 3

Week 3: What is your favorite hymn and why?
This is really tough for me because I absolutely LOVE church music!  I love it to death!  I love Primary songs and hymns.  It's kind of funny to me that that this topic came up this week because of a conversation I had with our Primary President this week.

We were sitting in the back of the room taking care of some business and I was just singing along during singing time.  I just couldn't help myself   Our Primary President looked at me and asked if it was strange to me to watch singing time rather than leading it.  Honestly, it is a little strange.  I led the music in our ward's Primary for almost 6 years!  It is hands down, the best calling in the church!  I absolutely loved it and I would NEVER hesitate to go back to doing it.  I do like being in the presidency, but there is something about those Primary songs that really touch my heart.

I definitely don't have one favorite hymn, but I do have some definite favorites.

Here are my Top 10, in no particular order:

I Know That My Redeemer Lives-Who could not just LOVE this song!?!  What a perfect arrangement and the words pierce my soul.

There is Sunshine in My Soul Today-A song filled with joy!  I literally sing this some days just because I am filled with joy!

Because I Have Been Given Much-This song is very tender to me.  It reminds me of what I have and waht I need to give.  It also reminds me to not overlook a single one of my blessings, no matter how small they may feel.

I Need Thee Every Hour-I sit at the piano and quietly pay this sometimes.  It helps me to feel peace when I am having a particularly rough or emotional time.

Count Your Blessings-I have been teaching this song to the boys and we really like it a lot.  It is a great song to march to.

Have I Done Any Good?-I gave a talk in church about this not too long ago and it really helped to remind me that everything I do needs to be in His name and I need to remember that I am standing as a witness to His at all times, and in all things, and in all places.  I need to make sure that each day I can say that I have done some good.

Teach Me To Walk in The Light-This song has been one of my favorites since I joined the Church   I memorized it at EFY, the summer after my senior year of high school.  I had just been called as a Nursery Assistant and I was really scared because I didn't know anything about Nursery or Primary (I had never even been in it as a child).  The second verse really touched me and I have continued to sing it almost every day since then.  I sing it to my babies every night.

Now Let Us Rejoice-I really thing the biggest reason I love this song is because I like to play it on the piano. I love the Hymns Simplified book!

Redeemer of Israel-A beautiful Hymn that is earth moving when a large choir of men sing it!

True to the Faith-Nothing like a good upbeat song to confirm your beliefs and call you to action!

I add these ones at the bottom because they remind me of something special that I never want to forget.
Onward Christian Soldiers-Grandma's favorite vacuuming hymn!

If You Could Hie to Kolob-James can play this on the piano, he learned it on his mission

Lean on My Ample Arm-I came home from church one Sunday when I was about 16 years old.  I asked my grandma what "ample" means.  She said, "Sufficient, or Fat"  From that day on we can't help but giggle as we sing "Lean On My FAT Arm"

My Favorite Primary Songs (There's 11, I couldn't narrow it down any more):

I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus-I love to hear children sing this song

Nephi's Courage-I Will Go!  I Will DO!

When I am Baptized-The imagery is perfect.  Alex is learning this on the piano now.

"Give" Said the Little Stream-This song makes me smile

I Feel My Savior's Love-This song is like a warm blanket being wrapped around you.

My Hands-My absolute favorite song to get out the wiggles

I Love to See the Temple-A gentle reminder of where we need to work on going

We'll Bring the World His Truth-Gives me similar feelings as True to the Faith!

On a Golden Springtime-The most perfect spring/Easter song

This is My Beloved Son-The gentle words of our Father

Samuel Tells of the Baby Jesus-Probably my favorite story from the Book of Mormon (we are actually reading it right now!).  I have a fond memory of this song.  A few years ago (almost 5!) we were invited to sing in our town's Hometown Christmas Celebration!  We were super excited as it was a huge honor.  This is one of the songs we sang and it was beautifully received.  The kids worked so hard to get it right and it gave me goosebumps to hear them sing it.

Okay, so obviously I love music as this has been my longest post I think.  My favorite scripture about music is:

Doctrine and Covenants 25:12-13
    12.  For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads.
   13.  Wherefore, lift up thy heart and rejoice, and cleave unto the covenants which thou hast made.

Music literally completes me and is definitely a part of who I am.

Monday, January 21, 2013

This is ME Monday, Week 2

Week 2: What has been the biggest trial in your life so far?  How did you overcome it and what did you learn? 

I can only think of a few major challenges in my life.  I feel very blessed to have not been bombarded with some of the struggles I see many of my friends dealing with.  I can think of a few that have been real humdingers though.  I can think of my miscarriages, Job change for James, Deciding to Homeschool, and Selling our Home.

Okay, so I look at these and think I am a bit of a wimp because now these don't seem as horrific as they were when I was going through them.  That's a nice piece of perspective pie for ya!  I discussed my trials with my miscarriages here and I won't rehash it all out.  I really learned one very important thing from that long, 3 year experience...LOVE your children in every moment.  This has really changed my perspective on being a mother and I am a little sad it took be this long to figure it out, but I am grateful I finally did.  I love my children so much and I am really trying to enjoy these mini moments I get each day and live in them, and not just watch them.  I am important to them, and they are important to me.

Now, the one with James' job change wasn't a huge trial for me personally, but it was definitely a trial of my faith.  James' job had been a bit demanding and they were not willing to give him the raise he definitely deserved.  He was offered a job elsewhere.  we prayed long and hard over whether or not he should leave his current employment and move forward with this other company.  Every prayer, temple visit and fast came back with nothing.  Silence was on the other end of the Heavenly phone line.  Finally I told James to just make a decision and I would trust him because I wasn't getting anything...not a no, not a yes, not an anything.    We took the leap of faith and he worked both jobs for two weeks and then he moved to this other company.    To put it lightly things at this place of employment STUNK!  He was teased and ridiculed for his beliefs (the owner was an inactive member of our ward, that was a shocker to us!) and was treated as if he were incompetent.  We couldn't understand this.  Why would they seek him out and then treat him like garbage?  James is an amazing man and he was determined to stick it out.  A few weeks later his other job called and begged him to come back!  He didn't have to go through a re-hire or anything, basically just pick up where he left off!  We took it, along with the significant raise they gave him to get him back.  I can only look back on this experience and think of the different things we learned.  We learned to take a leap, we learned that we are strong, that good things come to those who wait and we learned that the Lord puts us where He needs us.  Shortly after James left the other company the owner got in touch with his Home Teachers and started accepting their visits.  Sadly, the gentleman died not too long after.  We pray that James' example helped to soften his heart.

Deciding to homeschool our oldest son was one of the hardest decisions ever, but at the same time, it wasn't a tough decision at all.  Kindergarten is supposed to be a wonderful year.  It is your first experience with real school!  The start to Alex's year was amazing.  He had a long term substitute that will one day become the patron saint of kindergarten teachers!  She was amazing!  She guided Alex through his first semester of kindergarten with love and encouragement.  The second semester his regular teacher returned from maternity leave and something changed.  Don't get me wrong, she is a very sweet lady with a big heart, but something changed in my sweet boy and he became very unhappy/  I spent a lot of time on my knees and in that classroom trying to figure out what was going on.  I will never know all that happened that last semester, but I knew enough to know that my child didn't like school anymore.  Alex was a trooper and he wanted to like school, but his spirit kept dimming.  One day, during the last two weeks of school Alex came home and asked me if I could teach him at home.  I was shocked!  I had contemplated it and discussed it with James, but never with Alex.  I knew what I had to do and it scared me to death.  It still scares me every single day.  I needed to teach Alex at home.  We decided to finish out the school year and I would formally withdraw him from school in the summer.  This decision has shaped our entire lives since that day.  I remember a dream I had the Spring before Alex started kindergarten.  I dreamed that President Monson stood up in General Conference and instructed all parents to teach their children at home because the world had become full of wickedness.  It was a very vivid dream and I tried to laugh it off.  Maybe it was inspiration for me?  I'm not sure, but right now I know this is what I am supposed to be doing.  Honestly there are days I hate it!  It is a lot of work and responsibility, and don't get me wrong, Alex deserves the best, but I usually don't feel that I am the best.  I am learning and growing every single day.  My limits are tested and I know I can be great and my children are amazing.

The last one is selling our house.  This is going on right now and I HATE it!  I am not patient and I am not organized and tidy.  These are key elements to successfully selling a home without losing your mind, and let me tell you...I'm losing my marbles most days.  I will update on what I will learn from this.  So far I have learned that I can clean a house like no other!  My dog thinks it is time to ride in the car every time I pull the vacuum out and that I can't control everything, no matter how hard I try.  This is obviously a learning experience on many levels and I just hope I learn this stuff soon so that I can move on.

So this is ME!

Monday, January 14, 2013

This is ME Challenge

Okay, so I have decided to take on the This is ME Challenge.  My goal is that every Monday I will take a few minutes and talk about ME!  If my best friend can take 10 minutes out of her BUSY missionary schedule to write to me and her family, I can find 10 minutes to write my personal history.  My blog will be how I record my personal history   I don't have journals and stuff from my ancestors (at least not that I have found) and I want my posterity to know about me, and maybe they will think that a little strange runs in the family.  I will be going off of this site I found on Pinterest. Join me in writing your own history!

Week 1 Record Your Testimony, and How You Gained It

Well, honestly a testimony is an ever changing thing!  I can't think of when I received my testimony of our Lord and Savior.  I always knew He was there and that He loved me.  I know that there have been different times in my life where certain aspects of my faith have been tested and proven to me as gospel truths.  I know that the power of tithing is amazing.  There have been a number of times when somehow, we would just make it.  And honestly, the weeks we skipped paying tithing and we made it up on the next paycheck, things were harder and we struggled as a couple and as a family.  I know the power of the Holy Ghost and as a Sister in Zion as I have listened and followed promptings that led me to helping a friend.  Even if it was just with a phone call or a meal, I knew without a doubt that I was on the Lord's errand.  My testimony of Joseph Smith was cemented in while on a youth trip to Nauvoo the summer after my senior year in high school.  My testimony of prayer is unshakable as I have had so many accounts I can't even count.  I especially know of my Savior's and Heavenly Father's love for me as his child.  I shared a story here and it literally changed my life forever.  I know I didn't "join the church" for the right reasons.  I joined the Church because I NEEDED standards to live by and I wanted guidance.  It really was my "rebellious act" as a pre-teen and I know my life has changed for the good because of it, and I know it has affected my family for generations to come.

I was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints on October 9, 1999 in the Sparks, NV Stake.  Almost one month before my 14th birthday.  I was surrounded by friends and my step-father's mother.  My bishop, Tom Stauss baptized me and confirmed me the next day.  I was scared, but excited at the same time.  Some of my family was definitely not keen on the idea of me becoming a Mormon, but I knew I needed to be there.  I definitely have come a long way since that day, and I know that as long as I am willing, I will continue to progress and become the woman and mother my Heavenly Father has designed for me to become.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A New Year...Nothing New

Okay so I have been trying to figure out what I can talk about in my blog lately and everything I would think of, would not come to fruition, so I am determined tonight to sit down and type until something comes out.  I am quite proud of myself as it is just after 10:00 and the kitchen is tidy, dishwasher running, bread maker prepped, laundry drying, and clothes are laid out for tomorrow.  There are days when I look at myself and I am proud to be me.  I feel like I have accomplished something and I might have it together (in a weird, discombobulated sort of way).  Then there are days like yesterday where I can barely hold it together, I am ready to pull my hair out, I lose my patience with my kids, I wanna cry and I'm not sure if I wanna get up tomorrow because of the mountain of dishes I know will be there to greet me first thing in the morning.  I want more days like today, but I'm not sure how to make more days like today.  The biggest difference between the two days is the amount of "things" that had to get done.  So, how do I make days with less stuff?  Any suggestions?  I know that planning ahead would help some, and I am working on it.  I am also working on the word "NO" and I am getting better, but there are times I still can't do it.  So tomorrow I will try harder to stay focused, and to get it done.  This is a goal I often set monthly, weekly, daily....you know what I mean.  Maybe one day I will get it right, or maybe I won't and this will constantly be my struggle.  I'm not sure, but I know I can handle it and either my kids will learn how to juggle responsibilities, or learn how to keep it simple, either way they will learn something from watching me run around like a chicken with my head cut off.

I really think that the celebration of a New Year is silly.  As a Mormon mommy I spent my New Years Eve watching The Odd Life of Timothy Green (I highly recommend) and eating pizza with my kids and GiGi.  I loved every moment of it!  I had no desire to be anywhere else (well, maybe Italy, but lets be realistic). I don't set resolutions for the year because honestly, our goals and paths change constantly.  Also, setting life altering goals such as losing weight, getting organized, getting out of debt...whatever...doesn't magically happen on January 1st.  It happens when you are truly ready to make the commitment.  I know this from the depths of my being.  I had tried to stop drinking soda for years.  The stuff was unhealthy for me and was literally causing me intense pain.  Still, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't give it up.  Finally one day, out of nowhere I knew I was ready, and I stopped.  I haven't picked up a carbonated drink since.  I have no regrets and even though I still struggle with cravings at times, I know I am strong enough.  I have so many more things I need to improve on, but I will take it one day at a time.  I need to remember that I have been given each day for a reason.  That reason is to grow and learn, and even though I don't know how many more days I will have here on this Earth, I do know that it is my responsibility to use it as the Lord has commanded me.

I often think of how much better I need to be.  I am one of those parents that constantly beats herself up for everything!  I had a friend tell me this week, "I just don't know how you do it all."  My response was, "I don't".  Instead of focusing on what I had accomplished and what I do, I focused on what I didn't and what I need to do.  I need to cut it out!  I read this amazing blog post this week and I really want to share it.  You can find it here.  Although I know I will still struggle with these feelings at times, I must also remember that I am awesome and I am worth it.

This year will bring lots of change for our family, each year does.  I don't know where it will take us or what to prepare for.  I do know that I can do hard things and I know that my family loves me and I am important to them.  That's really all I need.  Now, to go to sleep so I can prepare for another day of organized chaos.